


This Was A Bad Idea From The Start (So Why Did I Agree Anyway?)

by revenblue



Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [72]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Bad Decisions, Bad Sex, Ficlet Collection, Humour, Interspecies Sex, M/M, POV Second Person, Please Do Not Take This Seriously, featuring Perry's inability to refuse Heinz anything, terribad sex ideas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-11-29 01:02:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18216086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: Heinz can be very persuasive. Sometimes that's not a good thing.Or, Perry regrets everything.





	1. Waxplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tl;dr wax in fur.

Sometimes Heinz has good ideas. Rare, but it happens. Other times...

You pick at the congealed wax in your fur. Why _did_ you let him talk you into this, anyway? That's right, because he _pouted_ at you.

Nothing has _ever_ gotten you into as much trouble as that pout of his.

"It's not _my_ fault," he says, arms folded and petulant as ever, even though it was his disaster of an idea in the first place. "How was _I_ supposed to know it'd make a mess of your fur?"

 _Common sense_ , you think, rolling your eyes. Not his strong suit.


	2. (Cursed) Sex Position #213

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which they do... [this](http://sexpositions.club/positions/213.html) (link is nsfw).

Blood rushes to your head, and not the head you were hoping for. The things you let your nemesis convince you into. It's like a game, he'd said. See how long you can stand on your head while he sucks you off.

You'd accepted that challenge, of course. You're Perry the Platypus, you can do anything.... except refuse his schemes.

If you fall over, it's his fault.

He slides his large hands down (up) your sides, to your hips, nosing at the cock just barely peeking out of your fur until you need to twitch your tail to stay upright.

Sometimes you have to wonder if he gets off on this bullshit.

"You're so good, Perry the Platypus, so strong," he murmurs, outright confirming that he _does_. Holding you in place, he leans in again to take you into his hot, wet, mouth.

Hissing through your teeth, you force down the urge to thrust between his. This is a test of patience, of skill, not of how quickly you can (make him) come.

* * *

You regret everything.

Not that you'd fallen. You're too good for _that_.

On the other paw, you're walking away with a crick in your neck.

Never. Again.


	3. Musical Numbers In Inappropriate Places

He's singing.

Why, for the love of Good, is he _singing_?

You didn't sneak him into OWCA HQ and drag him to the supply closet and shove your paw down his pants so he could turn it into a _musical number_. More the opposite. The goal's to keep (him) quiet while you bury your cock in his tight ass, the thought of discovery never far from your mind.

How no one's come to investigate yet is anyone's guess. Especially with his high notes as you find that one spot inside him...

The ideas you let this man talk you into.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll add more ficlets (*cough* drabbles, really) whenever I think of more ways to make Perry suffer.


End file.
